Today, we will see Theresa May reshuffle her Cabinet in order to try and reshape her power dynamic. Now, this is an interesting move on the part of Mrs May for one main reason. That reason is simple. She intended to make a similar move following the result of the 2017 General Election. However, to her dismay (no pun intended), she lost her Parliamentary majority and took part in a hung Parliament. This meant that she didn't really have the power to reshuffle as soon as hoped. (An argument was made on CNN this morning that she still isn't, but is doing so anyway).
So, in this Weekly Woe of Wonder, I will be reviewing each development as they happen.
{Before we start, as of 11:30am, the Northern Ireland Secretary, James Brokenshire, has resigned on health grounds. This means that we will have a new NI Secretary, hopefully someone who can break the deadlock currently in place in Stormont between the Ulster Defence Association and the IRA the DUP and Sinn Fein.}
So, here we go:
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11:45am - FADE TO GRAYLING.
Former Transport Secretary and Brexiteer, Chris Grayling, has been moved to become the new Conservative Party Chairman, replacing the former Chairman Patrick McLoughlin. In addition to this, the BBC is reporting that Chris Grayling is known as as the 'Conservative Attack-Dog'. So, beware all postmen and socialists.
Although he advocated to leave the European Union in the Referendum, he is loyal to Theresa May, having offered his services to her leadership campaign in 2016. This is also an interesting move given that today sees the newest round of RMT strikes over Train Guard jobs, something which would've been Grayling's job to resolve before strikes happened.
Christopher Stephen Grayling was born in London in 1962 and has been the MP for Epsom and Ewell since 2001.
{At present, it is expected that Amber Rudd, Boris Johnson and David Davis will remain in their jobs, with Jeremy Hunt being one of those who could be moved or demoted. Cue party poppers}.
Anyone else think that the word 'Grayling' sounds like something Gandalf's parents called him as a child? No? Just me?
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11:55am - TO TWEET OR NOT TO TWEET?
The tweet put out by Conservative HQ announcing Grayling's appointment to the Party Chairman position has been deleted. So, ironically, there is a delay to the Transport Secretary announcement.
Perhaps this came prematurely? Or maybe they got the name wrong?
We've all done that.
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12:00PM - THE OMNISHAMBLES (PART ONE)
The BBC's Norman Smith has been told by Conservative HQ that they put the tweet out about Chris Grayling because the BBC had reported Grayling's appointment. Not the other way around.
We can expect the ensuing paradox to eat up the planet in the coming hours.
This is, coincidentally, how American politics works in the current age, but with Fox News instead of a reliable news agency.
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12:25pm - NO SURPRISES
Patrick McLoughlin has resigned as Party Chairman.
At this point, we're expecting him to blame the BBC.
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12:40pm - TERMAYNATOR 3: RISE OF THE ELECTION MACHINES
The BBC are reporting that there may be a new hierarchy at Conservative HQ in terms of how the party is run. This is, in theory, to "shake up" the Conservative election machine and modernize, in light of Labour's popularity in terms of electioneering, social media and, just, in general.
This will take the party up to 1974, by current calculation.
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12:48pm - BBC: "NOTHING TO REPORT"
Norman Smith feels the need to report that there is nothing to report. Thank you, Norman. Back to the studio.
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12:55pm - BRANDON LEWIS BECOMES TORY KINGPIN
Former Immigration Minister, Brandon Lewis MP, has become the Conservative Party Chairman. This has now been officially confirmed. Lewis was elected as MP for Great Yarmouth in 2010 and has a law degree from the University of Buckingham. He was appointed as Minister for Immigration in 2017.
Bloody immigration ministers coming over here, taking high Party jobs...
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13:40pm - AMBER WARNING
Norman Smith appears to be excited about Amber Rudd turning up to Downing Street. He got positively giddy over it.
Norman and Amber sitting in a tree...
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14:00pm - ANYONE?
Amber Rudd stays as Home Secretary and David Lidington is now the Cabinet Office Minister and the Duchy of Lancaster.
Yup. Me neither.
Lidington has been the MP for Aylesbury since 1992 and has been the Secretary of State for Justice since 2017.
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14:07pm - MISSED APPOINTMENT
In my listening to David Bowie and various other jobs I had to get on with, I missed the fact that the Deputy Party Chair had been announced as James Cleverly. Cleverly has been MP for Braintree since 2015. He is best known for having sent an ill advised tweet comparing Corbyn to Josef Stalin.
Cleverly done, Mrs May.
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14:22pm - SECOND CHANCE-LLOR
Phillip Hammond is staying as Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Expect more monotone interviews.
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14:40pm - ALL-DAY BREXIT
David Davis remains as the Brexit Secretary.
Unfortunately.
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15:05pm - CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES
Sajid Javid becomes, according to the official 10 Downing Street Twitter feed, Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government.
For anyone who's confused, he's been given 'Housing'. Unlike 307,000 homeless people in this country. (The Guardian, 8th November, 2017).
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15:18pm - THE ALMIGHTY JOHNSON
Boris Johnson remains as the Foreign Secretary. He's been in this post since 2016.
Because one flouncy-haired blonde guy on the world stage is not enough, apparently.
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16:12pm - HUNT-ING BAN?
Nothing yet on Jeremy Hunt.
Except the tears of those who suffered because of his policies.
Let's keep it light-hearted, eh?
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16:24pm - WHAT A LARRY ON!
The BBC News website's liver coverage of the reshuffle just asked 'What does Larry make of reshuffle so far?'
I'm pretty sure he's cat-egorically uninterested.
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16:40pm - THE ONLY HUNT-ING YOU'LL SEE DISCUSSED...
Jeremy Hunt has been reconfirmed as the Health Secretary.
You can now buy your part of the NHS on www.amazon.co.uk/NHS4salesuckers
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